In a Germy Ouroboros 🐍

Yesterday was burn out, but today is burn out too.

From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.

Yesterday was burn out, but today is burn out too.

Emerges from the compost heap covered in rubbish a la the junk lady from The Labyrinth:

Labyrinth-JunkLady-Door.webp

I planned to take a week offline to recover from Entwined.

Very demure. Very mindful.1

When three weeks passed I didn’t panic.

I just posted this.

At four weeks – despite my best efforts – I have properly failed at regenerating.

Here are a few of the reasons why.

  • My kid is processing wasp trauma and is having anxious meltdowns if I try to spend any time outside. (We’re making very gentle progress on this, but last week was absolutely brutal. Outside is my best reset tool and it’s been completely the opposite as we try to navigate this.)

  • Sleep is elusive because I’m so overstimulated that by the time night comes my nervous system is too jazzed to sleep. Luckily, we don’t have to wake up early for school.

  • That didn’t stop a migraine from waking me at 6am this Monday.

  • Just when we made the tiniest progress on the outside thing David came down sick. The whole house is snotty and we’re desperately trying not to pass the same sick around and around in a germy ouroboros.

Public-Domain-Ouroboros.jpeg

There’s definitely more going on, but you get the idea.

I think it’s important to share this part of the process because people see me doing something like the Entwined campaign and they make all kinds of assumptions about “what I am capable of.” But it takes it’s toll and without a proper rest period that effect is cumulative.

Take this post for example.

Two years ago I wrote this articulate post about fluctuating capacity.

This post is actually a much better explanation of what I’m navigating right now.

From a time when I had more facility with language.

Right now I’m still trend toward,

“I am goo.”


In the Studio ✂️

Ha!


In the Garden 🌱

Double ha!


Books 📖

Ah, yes. I have been reading. I’d rather be reading outside, but even reading indoors has been helping.

2024-10-15-Books.jpg

I’m enjoying Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett (it’s pairing nicely with Agatha All Along) and I’ve also completed his collected essays.

I have a nice stack of books in my queue to pull me through. Things that feel like a “waste of time” are actually the most helpful. Louise of Curiosity Spot wrote a brilliant piece about this phenomenon called From Burnout to Balance.


Digital Foraging 🍁

I opened this week’s letter with the imagery of the Junk Lady because, although I haven’t been writing you or curating my discoveries, I do keep foraging.

The brave at heart can rummage through this mess. (Most everything was dumped into 2024-09-Week-4. The next two weeks I tried to write a normal update, but didn’t send one: 2024-10-Week-1 & 2024-10-Week-2.)

I’ll hold onto the links from this week and see if I can’t make some sense of them for next week’s update.


Time Travel header features an illustrated TARDIS, swirling lines, and stars.

This time two years past…

Ah, the glory days before NaNoWriMo had a regime change and sided with AI.

I’m feeling bitter and frustrated, because I’ve been preparing all year to kick off the next draft of my novel this November.

I take solace in Hank Green’s perspective from Twitter is not Elon’s. His argument is that online communities are people and cannot be owned. Platforms are places. And bad leadership of online platforms is similar to bad leadership of physical places.

It was a timely video to watch as I see NaNoWriMo going up in flames. I’m deeply embarrassed by the current leadership of NaNoWriMo.

The same way I was embarrassed when our President was Donald Trump.


PLEASE VOTE.

West-Wing-Leo.webp

Yes, Leo. I do.

PSA: Sensitive introverts – it’s definitely worth investigating “early voting” in your state. Ours started THIS WEEK.


I didn’t stop being American when Donald Trump was president and I won’t stop noveling in November. I refuse to let them ruin NaNoWriMo for me.

They actually have no control of the event. Just the website (and the forums which they nuked.) We will have to be egregiously erroneous on our own turf.

I’ll be writing in November. I’ve yet to decide if I’m using the actual website or how much I’ll caveat the experience. I just think it’s such a bold take for a creative writing organization to side with the AI overlords.

What is the world coming to?

PLEASE VOTE.

West-Wing-CJ.webp

Ways to support header includes an illustrated white rabbit hopping into some wildflowers.

The Compost Heap is free to all. Thanks for exchanging your time and energy. If you’re feeling particularly generous here are other ways you can lend your support.

  • Leave a comment (it’s free!)

  • Restack or recommend on Substack.

  • Buy my book.

  • Forward this email to a friend.

  • Pledge $3+ on Patreon (or upgrade to paid) for monthly snail mail from me.

I missed September so I’m sending something extra with this month’s letter.

Pledge by October 31 and you’ll get it too.

2024-10-9-Typewriter-Patreon.jpg

Let's chat header includes a hand drawn tin can telephone.

The Internet is like a tin can telephone. It’s just a rusty can until someone talks back.

How are you holding up? What resonates?

SS-Sarah-Signature.png

This newsletter is a curated collection of tidbits from my overgrown Compost Heap (or digital garden.) Rummage around, turn the heap, and see what you can find for yourself. 🪱🐛🌱

Illustrations by Gracie Klumpp of Leave the Fingerprints. 🐞


P.S. Who caught the Supernatural reference?

P.P.S. Have you seen any great vintage vote posters?

So far my favorite is: Give Mother the Vote, Rose O’Neill 1915

Public-Domain-Give-Mother-Vote-Rose-Oneill-1915.jpg
1

I have no business making this reference, but it is almost 1 am and I am unhinged. 😂

Comments

  1. Anne Brooke Avatar
    Anne Brooke

    Hugs from me. Recovering always takes more time than we ever imagine it will, but BIG hugs as well xxx

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      💙💙💙

  2. Nicola Corl Avatar
    Nicola Corl

    Well, I read the title as ‘In a German Ouroboros’ and it took me a minute to get up to speed. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a German ouroboros out and about, hopefully bringing you schnitzel with noodles, because nothing surprises me these days. Hope you all feel better soon. 💜

    1. Paige Meredith Ray Avatar
      Paige Meredith Ray

      I read the same thing!!!

    2. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      Thank you Nicola. I’d happily welcome a schnitzel beating ouroboros into the house. 😂

  3. Caroline Osella Avatar
    Caroline Osella

    I’ll be doing NaNoWriMo, but not engaging with their platform. I’ll be in a local discord group for NaNo writers, as well as engaging more with backstage member chat at Writers HQ. So yeah – daily discipline and word watching in community, but not on their platform. What’s that? Like, Shadow Nano or something? I’m expecting/ hoping that Substack will have a tab for it.

    1. Caroline Osella Avatar
      Caroline Osella

      And hope things pick up soon. It’s all process, right. Go gently on yourself

      1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
        Sarah Shotts

        💙💙💙

    2. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      I’ll probably just be hanging out in private Discords as well. It’s a shame for anyone who doesn’t already have those connections though.

      Maybe over time their leadership will shift and change positions. It’s truly mind boggling to me.

  4. Jocelyn Mathewes Avatar
    Jocelyn Mathewes

    Sending you big recovery vibes. I often find that actual recovery is even longer than the buffer that I plan for, too.

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      So much longer! 🐌

  5. Paige Meredith Ray Avatar
    Paige Meredith Ray

    I’ve been doing my own research (ie trying to be self-cognizant) around my own self care spirals, especially because I’ve been on two big (for me) trips in two weeks.
    One was a trip to nyc where the logistics had been planned and I literally bought a ticket 18 hours beforehand. The entire vibe was “this is all an accident anyway so don’t stress.” And it felt like a lovely energetic reset / boost from the universe.
    One the second trip, a work training, I literally sat in my hotel room sewing and audiobook listening for three nights so that I could “save energy up” for one night out on my last evening of my last trip. I had an excellent time, met lovely people, enjoyed amazing food, good conversation with my Uber driver… and still paid the ND tax of leaving my phone in the Uber vehicle and getting increasingly not okay as I watched the location of my phone get further away from my laptop screen as I used the hotel phone to continuously call my own phone hoping the Uber driver would hear it before he made it home that night. That was two days ago and I still haven’t slept.

    This is me specifically spiraling up and down (which I’ve just realized in the last three months has a higher likelihood of happening when away from the structure of my “normal”).

    Thanks for holding space for me to write this really long comment (which I share to support you and say “I agree!”) and for yourself. You sharing,as your able, helps us reflect. That’s powerful. Thank you.

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      Solidarity! I love knowing I am not alone. 🦋

  6. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Caught the reference *immediately*! I hope things get easier soon, and that the changing season brings a visible reduction in bees to help with wasp trauma. Autumn has arrived here and we’re seeing far fewer bees of any sort, but if those f*@&ing spiders would stay OUT of my house…!

    After a few very hot, very smoky summers, I absolutely lost all interest in gardening outdoors and started collecting houseplants. My collection is now much closer to triple digits than single digits, but mostly I find it very regulating to putter around with.

    Hugs, and I hope everybody has a speedy recovery from the germs!

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      Thanks Melissa! Yes, the weather has finally shifted! But right before it did we had some unfortunate incidents that retriggered things. 😣

  7. Stephanie Ascough Avatar
    Stephanie Ascough

    I hope you can find yourself out of the goo phase soon. I was balancing on the edge of burnout myself just before our family vacation, but oddly, being forced away from writing/making content has helped a little. (So will being back home!)

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      Solidarity! 🐛🦋

  8. A. Wilder Westgate Avatar
    A. Wilder Westgate

    I, personally, loved the reference. I’m sorry to hear that your planned period of rest has ended up with you needing more recovery. I know how frustrating that can be. Wasps are the worst, and I really hope you’re able to get back outside without the extra struggle soon.

    I finally had the energy to do some editing on my poetry book this weekend. There’s still plenty to be done, but it felt good to get past some of what I felt stuck on. Today I’m going to be making some more solid plans to take steps to finish it, and then to decide how I want to try to publish. It feels overwhelming but not impossible, and I’ll take that for now.

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      I love hearing what you are up to! Taking the next small step gets you there – I promise! 🐌

  9. Claire Venus ✨ Avatar
    Claire Venus ✨

    That poster! Sending love. ❤️

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      💙💙💙

  10. Tamsin Avatar
    Tamsin

    Rest well, recover well, bee well.

    1. Sarah Shotts Avatar
      Sarah Shotts

      🐝🐝🐝

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