Category: Uncategorized

  • You are a writer even when you need sleep more than morning pages. 😴

    An Open Call for Entwined Anthology 🌿

    Kindle Curiosity. Text is a typewriter font. Campfire logo carved from linocut. Curved flames are painted with soft watercolor.

    When I was a new mum I knew that I needed art.

    But I didn’t quite understand why.

    (Not like I do now.)

    It’s incredibly hard to make art as a new parent because of all the time and energy that goes into keeping a tiny human alive.

    But I expected this. So I had a plan.

    For years I had determined to re-read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron as a new parent. Surely that would remind me how important my art was.

    So I bought a shiny new copy and invited my Patreon supporters to read along with me. (To their credit no one told me I was crazy – even the other moms.)

    I set about reading one chapter a week. I can’t remember how far I got before I realized that Julia had no idea what I really needed.

    It turns out The Artist’s Way wasn’t the book I needed as a new mum.

    I say this as someone who loves Julia Cameron and has re-read her books many times.

    My brain really loves a right way of doing things. I latched on to Julia Cameron’s methods as a teenager and carried those expectations with me even if I wasn’t always acting on them. I went through inconsistent cycles of journaling and artist dates for decades.

    Suddenly, I realized that Julia didn’t have a magic system.

    She had a system that worked for her.

    And sometimes worked for other people.

    Some of you are probably thinking this is really obvious.

    But it was earth shattering for me.

    I wasn’t a failure. Her expectations simply did not align with my capacity.

    What if I had my own potential for magic, but never discovered it because I was so locked on to Julia’s way?

    I started releasing all of my expectations and starting fresh.

    My creative process shattered into million pieces and I started putting it back together one fragment at a time. Ironically I was journaling – a lot. But I was also embracing inconsistency so it felt rebellious.

    One day I started accidentally writing a book.

    A book that said I was an artist whether or not I was making art every day.

    That I was a writer even if I needed sleep more than morning pages.

    That there was more to the creative process than the act of making.

    I finished a rough draft in early 2020 and went on to survey over 100 creative mothers to weave in quotes and experiences beyond my own.

    Stack of papers with giant bulldog clip, "Guide to creativity in new motherhood. Chapter 1"

    The first chapter was called, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem and eventually grew into a book of it’s own.

    When COVID hit I lost access to the public library where I had been writing.

    My husband took over the room that used to be my home office.

    And had not yet discovered the power of noise cancelling headphones.

    My mental health spiraled out. I could barely function much less write. I white knuckled my way through the next year until we finally finished my backyard studio. Eventually I pulled out my manuscript and it felt like it was written by a different person.

    I took the chapter on creative ecosystems and ran with it, but once that was gone it felt like the heart of what I really wanted to say had already been said.

    I was at a loss of how to move forward. I had no idea what to do with the beautiful quotes and survey data I had collected.

    Until I began to reimagine the project as an anthology.

    The anthology framework breathed life back into the project.

    The idea that every mother needs different things was always central to the book I wanted to write, and what better way to say that than to make the whole project a collaboration.

    With excitement I started building a creative team:

    Cover artist Twiggy Boyer.

    https://instagram.com/p/CsLsQVquJQQ/

    Interior Illustrator Emily Jalinsky.

    https://instagram.com/p/CZp9MfQlvjz/

    Workbook Cover Artist Annie King.

    https://instagram.com/p/Crj9hlCrZuo/

    With these amazing artist mothers on board I am more excited than ever to bring this project to life.

    But I need your help!

    I’m looking for more creative mums to submit their writing to the project.

    Learn more about the open call (and small stipend) below.

    Or share this post to help spread the word!

    Share this post with a creative mother you know.

    Share


    "OPEN CALL FOR Entwined: Creativity & Motherhood AN ANTHOLOGY DUE August 15th" Collage by Twiggy Boyers featuring vintage photograph of mother and child with hand painted vines. Background is torn layers of gold, florals, old house photos, and pinks.

    Submit your writing to Entwined: Motherhood and Creativity. 🌿


    The purpose of this anthology is to inspire mothers to pursue creativity, to reframe what “counts” as art, and to hold space for rest and ideation within the creative process. This isn’t just a book about making art. It’s about the whole of motherhood and how that impacts our creative process.

    Submission Guidelines

    CLOSED. This open call was for August 2023. The project is in progress and will be crowdfunded autumn of 2024.

    Non fiction written works and poetry about the intersection of motherhood and the creative process.

    There is no strict word count requirement.

    Long form and short pieces are both welcome.

    Anyone who identifies as a mother is invited to contribute.



    Open Call image featuring artwork by: Twiggy Boyer.


    Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

  • In Case You Missed It

    Entering Substack Summer ☀️

    I had something else planned today, but I’ve decided to pivot.

    My sewing project has flared up my chronic back pain. 😫 I have something exciting to share, but I’ve been trying to write it while sitting on ice and it’s just not ready.

    I’m concerned about the pain flare because next month I’ll be traveling for the first time since COVID times. Airplanes and hotel beds and standing in lines and all of that. ✈️

    I have no idea how that’s going to impact me since I am essentially a different person than I was then.

    So I’ve decided to pause longform Substack posts to prepare for (and then recover from) my July trip.

    The best thing I can do is carve out some more white space and try to listen to my body right now.

    So for the next few weeks I’m going to choose what and whether to publish based on my capacity. It may be something short or it may be nothing at all.

    Today I’m sharing a round up of older posts you might have missed.

    I’ll still be around reading comments and would love to know what you think. 🥰



  • It's not procrastination. It's a sensory reset. 💥

    Why I’ve been cutting hundreds of fabric squares. ✂️

    A vintage engraving style illustration of a dusty green rabbit jumping over typewriter text that reads, down the rabbit hole

    Thanks for everyone’s support after last week’s post. If you missed it I wrote a coming out post about being nonbinary. 🏳️‍🌈 I expected to lose lots of folks and (so far) it was only 4. 🤷 Maybe all the hardcore conservatives left me when I picketed against Trump. Whoever did unsubscribe they did not announce themselves and I am thankful for that.


    in the studio

    I’ve noticed a cycle within my creative ecosystem.1

    After spending a lot of social energy on a big launch I love to work with my hands.

    I first noticed this last year. After fulfilling my book preorders I spent months making the bricolage The Mental Load.2

    Broken toys and detritus are glued to a bamboo silverware tray. Items include: plastic snake, pop tube, caution tape, barrel of monkeys, smiley face sticker, dum dums wrapper, I voted sticker, children's fishing pole, crayons, broken cars, and more.

    If you’d like to see the process you can click here to see a timelapse. (Or click here for a closeup view of the finished work.)

    After the picture book launch the project that chose me is textile.

    I’ve been cutting hundreds of fabric squares to make a costume.

    Specifically, I am making a gleeman’s cloak from The Wheel of Time (the hyperfocus of my youth). In that world a gleeman is a traveling performer who sings and tells stories. They wear a cloak made of fluttering patches in every color.3

    Piles of 209 square patches sorted by colors: red, gold, yellow, blue, green, purple, white, brown, black. There are also various textures: velvets, brocade, silk, corduroy, satin, batik, embroidered, and a red pleated satin with a row of red and gold buttons.

    When I started the project I didn’t realize it was about self regulation.

    The more I follow my autistic impulses the more intuitive self regulation becomes.

    I was just doing what felt right.

    It was only when I started drafting this post that I made the connection to last year’s bricolage. Something about the repetitive action of making with my hands and creating something intuitive must help reset my brain. I’ve been observing myself since making this realization and the difference in how I feel before and after is profound.

    Does anyone defrag their computer anymore?

    I don’t think so, but I am an elder Millennial who defragged my desktop computer to get a few more years out of it.

    Defragmentation was basically a way of tidying up storage space on a computer. The computer would take time (a LOT of time) reorganizing files so that they lined up neatly without all the gaps of wasted space.4

    That’s what cutting squares feels like. It takes my brain from chaos to order.

    From overstimulation to calm.

    I see this as the main difference between self regulating activities (sometimes called special interests or hyper focuses) versus regular hobbies. The activity is having a positive neurological effect and improving my ability to function.5

    I’m acutely aware it looks like procrastination.

    I wonder how many of us abandoned healthy coping strategies because we were shamed or criticized for them?

    Part of unmasking for me is trying to be less concerned with “how it looks” and to (as puts it) assume my needs are reasonable.

    My brain needs this reset time.

    Running a crowdfunding campaign followed by my son’s fourth birthday was incredibly energetically depleting. I knew it was going to take time to recover.

    Last week the productivity pressure started to crowd in and look over my shoulder.

    It said insidious things that ignored the fact we don’t have childcare. That cutting fabric squares is quite different to writing a book.

    It’s easy to forget that this is exactly why we structured this project with an expansive timeline.

    This time for self regulation is an integral part of the process. And, of course, my brain is subconsciously puttering away on the book all along.

    I might very well sit down and finish the second draft in one sitting.

    Sometimes neurodivergent brains move fast – really fast – like lightning. But we can’t maintain that. So we often fall into periods of intense hyperfocus followed by a crushing burn out. I am doing my best to disrupt those patterns.

    Just because I can move at a breakneck pace sometimes doesn’t mean I can maintain that.

    I am trying to release shame and guilt for utilizing self regulating tools and strategies. And for taking the time I need.

    I invite you to do the same.

    So, it will be a bit longer before postcards go out to our book hype team (we haven’t forgotten you!) or you get a proper book update.

    Unless this a book update?

    It may seem unrelated, but this regeneration cycle is definitely an essential part of my creative process.6


    Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    of shoes and ships and sealing wax

    Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

    Books

    Aside from sewing I have also been self regulating by reading for hours on end. (This is the first time I have managed to do this since Davy has been born – I am kind of amazed he is “letting” me.)

    I managed to finish Rhythm of War (an epic fantasy novel over 1,000 pages) in a couple weeks. I originally started it in 2020, but put it down in because my brain fog wouldn’t let me read anything new. It’s the kind of book that reads much better in long stretches than short bursts and reminded me of how it felt to read as a kid.

    Games

    We’ve also been playing a LOT of the new Zelda game. It’s become a hyper focus for the whole family over the last month. I am essentially Davy’s squire now dressing him in his tunic and long green cap once or twice a day (the belts are tricky!)

    I love the adventure of it!

    Link rides paraglider above fantasy landscape with a triforce shield on his back

    Climbing mountains, exploring caves, foraging for mushrooms, cooking up campfire meals, and flying around in our paraglider. Not to mention the puzzles. I love the puzzles! Nathan and I have noticed we often solve the puzzles and play the game very differently and I love that there is scope for that!

    Davy does Zelda too and his language is exploding. (We’ve been playing in tandem. He uses the left controller running Link’s feet while I use the right controller to direct the camera / direction and the action buttons.)

    Would recommend 10/10 for Fantasy nerds (or for the Fantasy-curious.)

    Companionship Spotlight

    Last month in my creative membership program The Companionship we talked about Substack and some of the members are launching their own publications. I’m going to start featuring them here.

    is on a quest to find “her thing” in creativity.

    Side Quests In Creativity
    Coming soon…
    I have this problem. I thought I was alone in it, until I chatted with a fellow neurodivergent friend. I’m still stuck in teenage mode, where I feel like I can’t play until I’ve finished my chores. But I’m an adult, the chores are never done, so I’ve had a really hard time with reading just for fun, or painting because my soul craved it. Because I don’t…
    Read more

    The Companionship opens for members twice a year. The next chance to join will be in autumn. 🍂🍁🌾

    Music

    This Hamilton inspired version of Itsy Bitsy Spider is inspired. 🕷️

    Baking

    This is the first year Davy has chosen his own birthday cake. He asked for strawberry. I used this recipe which uses real strawberries and my mom’s cream cheese frosting (below).

    This is also her carrot cake, which is one of my absolute favorites. It’s been my birthday cake for the last several years.


    too many tabs

    I’ve invented this section as inspiration to browse and close the tabs I keep open on Safari. I am always dangerously close to the 500 tab limit. Hopefully these creative breadcrumbs offer some inspiration.

    I’ve spent approximately 3 years trying to find a clip of this segment of Sesame Street. Turns out it was called Alphaquest. Does anyone else remember this?

    The image of a hallways of doors opening up to new worlds really stuck with me. The quality isn’t great, but it does exist! I wish Sesame Street had a better archive. I can’t find anywhere that has full episodes from the 80s & 90s. (We did manage to find quite a few of the classic songs though and put them on this playlist for Davy.)

    Also…

    “Always lift medieval church seats to check out the misericords. I call this one I just found in Poitiers the Queen of Hearts. Off with their heads!” via Michael Livingstone


    A little something from the archives. Here’s what I was writing about this time last year.

    One Year Ago

    It’s my one year Substack birthday! 🎂 I’ll write more about that next week, but for now here are the first two posts I shared here.


    If you’d like to support the newsletter I use funds to offer transcription for podcast and videos as well as invest in gear that improves the quality of my content (like my brand new microphone!)

    Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

    If you can’t become a paid subscriber you can also support my work by:

    • Writing a thoughtful comment. (Honestly the comments are what keep me coming back week after week!)

    • Sharing this post with a friend.

    • Buying a book!


    I’d love to hear from you in comments. What resonated?

    Do you relate to feeling guilty doing the things that help you self regulate? Has it been so long since you’ve done something for the joy of it that you’ve forgotten what that might be?

    Let’s Discuss!

    What would you do if you had a day to yourself and couldn’t work at all?

    How can you weave that into your life now?

    Cheers,

    Sarah's signature with a big swoopy S
    1

    I need to write a post introducing the concept of creative ecosystems. But the basic idea is that we all need different things to thrive as artists and as humans. I wrote a book about it.

    2

    The Mental Load is currently in the virtual exhibit Cut, Torn, Mended at Spilt Milk Gallery and in their printed zine of the same name.

    3

    I won a ticket to a Wheel of Time convention this summer and found myself diving head first into making a costume. I’m still not sure if it will be done in time.

    4

    This is my layperson’s understanding of it. My computer engineer husband may have a more accurate, but much lengthier explanation. Here is a rabbit hole should you require more information.

    5

    I do not distinguish between “high functioning” or “low functioning” labels for autism. But I am not sure how else to describe what I mean here. By function I mean my personal baseline for forming thoughts, communicating, and getting stuff done. When I am overextended or overstimulated my baseline for forming thoughts, communicating, and getting stuff done decreases. I have physical and mental fatigue. Engaging in self regulating tasks helps me to reset my brain and resume my normal life.

    6

    Note to self: write about, “The Neurodivergent Regeneration Cycle”.

  • Somewhere Under the Rainbow 🌈

    Wait, is this a coming out post? 🏳️‍🌈

    Kindle Curiosity. Text is a typewriter font. Campfire logo carved from linocut. Curved flames are painted with soft watercolor.
    Crayons and colored pencils surround a sketchbook with a kid drawn rainbow. A shaft of sunlight comes in from the window.

    What if we didn’t assume people were straight? 🏳️‍🌈

    Imagine standing in front of your parents or peers and “coming out” as straight. You spent months collecting evidence and crafting a tightly woven narrative. Maybe you even prepare to explain what exactly straightness is.

    That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

    But we still expect queer and genderqueer people to do this.


    What if we didn’t assume hetero presenting couples were straight?

    What if we didn’t assume our kids were straight?

    What if we didn’t assume we ourselves were straight?

    What if straight and cis were not the cultural default?


    Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    Whoooo are yooooou? 🐛🍄

    Imagine space to discover for yourself who you are…

    What self expression feels aligned?

    Who do you feel a connection to?

    What type of relationships would you like to nurture in your life?

    Wide rainbow stripes made with rectangular crayons make a Pride flag on a sketchbook page.

    I’m queer and genderqueer.

    To be more specific: I’m ace and nonbinary.

    And, you know what?

    I’m not taking questions today.

    I’m still reflecting on how my nonbinary identity intersects with neurodivergence and motherhood (yes, I do still identify as a mother.)

    Down the road I’ll be writing more about that, but for today I am just saying…

    I am.

    This isn’t something new.

    It is new language for an old thing.

    I’ve spent a year trying to craft a narrative to hold your hand through this. I wanted to be understood. I wanted to change the hearts of anyone who felt hateful or judgmental. I wanted to say all the right things the right way in one tidy post.

    But then I realized… that’s not my job.

    I’m not suddenly your queer educator.

    I’m new to this community. I’m still learning myself.

    If you are confused or curious and want to learn more about gender I recommend this brilliant podcast with Alok Vaid-Menon. You can also follow them on Instagram.

    Rainbow of colored pencils on sketchbook paper surrounded by crayons and stabile pencils.

    We need visibility now more than ever.

    I’m doing this for every queer and trans kid who doesn’t feel safe to do so.

    I know sharing this is going to run some people off. I’ve noticed that people have a tendency to assume my values align with theirs. For what it’s worth, our family is Episcopal which is LGBTQ+ affirming. We have been for 5 years.

    When I first wrote this post I had paragraphs and paragraphs dedicated to the people who would disapprove.

    I deleted it all and decided to post this clip instead. 😂1


    Setting Boundaries

    • I am not inviting debate, disagreement, or criticism today.

    • You are free to leave without announcing yourself.

    • I am not your queer educator. If you are confused please listen to the podcast episode linked above.

    If you can’t say something kind don’t say anything at all.

    Whatever your faith or values I hope we can agree that humans should be treated with kindness and respect.


    To say that I’m a rainbow 🌈

    I’m not sure I got the tone quite right, but any other tone would be inauthentic. I’m convicted to share this, but if I’m also feeling nervous.

    If you have the time I’d love for you to listen to this wistful, hopeful song by queer and genderqueer artist Dodie Clark. I find it resonates on so many levels including how I experience the world as an autistic person.

    .

    I was brought up in a line
    But I seem to walk in circles
    It’s getting hard to navigate
    When every map was never made for me
    And I thought it would feel good
    To understand why I was different
    But my title just talks over me
    I never even asked to be this way

    But to say that I’m a rainbow
    To tell me that I’m bright
    When I’m so used to feeling wrong
    Well, it makes me feel alright

    Rainbow by Dodie

    .


    Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    I welcome celebration and love in comments.

    I’m feeling nervous so if you’re supportive please leave comment or a shower of emojis. ✨🌈💫

    My pronouns are they/she.

    That means you can use she/her or they/them. I really appreciate the effort to use they/them. It makes me feel seen.

    It may feel awkward at first, but you probably use a singular they without even thinking about it.

    Imagine you saw a car run a red light, but you didn’t know who was driving. You would say, “They just ran a red light!”

    If you don’t know any other genderqueer people please practice using they/them with me.

    It’s low stakes because you can’t really mess up. 😘

    I would also ask that you not refer to me as woman, lady, girl, miss, or ma’am.

    If you slip up the best practice is the same thing you would do if you called your child by the wrong name. Correct it and move on. You don’t have to make a big deal about it. Just restate what you meant to say and keep going. It’s really okay. Everyone mixes up language sometimes. We appreciate the effort.

    If you are questioning or closeted my inbox is always open. 🏳️‍🌈

    I don’t have all the answers, but I’m happy to hold space and be a safe person for you now or in the future. ❤️

    Sarah signed with pencil and a big swooping S
    1

    I deleted everything I wrote about growing up as an evangelical preacher’s kid and decided to post this clip instead. 😂

    I archived all of my blog posts and shifted my energy to YouTube.

    I don’t regret it and found this process essential to reconnecting to my creative voice. I keep my domain name and used a free version of WordPress to build this landing page. You can see I was shifting identity from “blogger” to “artist”, but I still had a long way to go.

    Even though I wasn’t “blogging” anymore… I kind of was. I was just doing it on Patreon. Every month I wrote about the things that were inspiring me. I called this series Of Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax which I still use as a section of my Down the Rabbit Hole posts.

    I also made a lot of printables and YouTube videos during this time.

    Kindle Curiosity (2018-2019)

    I started a podcast called Kindle Curiosity in 2018. (It is archived here.) When I set up the podcast website I imported some old blog posts and found myself blogging again.

    The Artist Era (2020-2022)

    Between 2013-2020 almost everything I created was with the internet in mind.

    After Davy was born I felt a lot of clarity in what I wanted to make. And it didn’t involve hours and hours of podcast editing.

    I felt drawn to making visual art outside the lens of the internet.

    What would I make if I didn’t create for the Instagram square?

    This reframe changed my creative direction in a huge way.

    I started a body of work called This is My Brain on Motherhood. I imagined a pop up art exhibition (something I am still working toward) and made work for that context. In the end, I found I could share that work in an Instagram square, but the thought experiment had already turned my process inside out.

    In 2022 I redesigned my website bringing in a typewriter font which felt very full circle. Here I am as me. I’m making art about my lived experience.

    The Substack Era (2023)

    Last week I changed the “Blog” on my website to point to Substack. I do consider this my blog. Maybe it makes me an old fogey, but I get all the cozy nostalgic vibes.

    What’s your blogging story?

    How long have you used the internet?

    Let’s chat.

    Sarah signed with pencil and a big swooping S

    P.S. This tour was made possible by The Wayback Machine via Internet Archive.

    1

    Before I started blogging I kept a Tumblr called Inquisitive Wanderer. It was a gateway to blogging. I don’t consider it a blog really because I didn’t write it for an audience. I wrote it for me and for my mum.

  • A brand is a can of soup. 🥫

    Further reflections on branding vs. artistic style.

    A vintage engraving style illustration of a dusty green rabbit jumping over typewriter text that reads, down the rabbit hole

    Hello everyone!

    I’ve been blown away by your response to I’m Not a Brand I’m a Human 🫀.

    You’ve written so many amazing comments and emails I haven’t even managed to reply to you all yet. But I will! I see you and I’m so glad to hear from you.

    My branding post seems to have really struck a nerve. So many of us are feeling the same way!

    You are not alone.

    If you’re new here I used to have two separate Substacks which I am integrating – one explored autism and neurodivergence and one discussed creativity. The more I wrote both of them the more I realized it’s all interconnected.

    After merging Substacks I’ve had a bit of a *cough* tidy up…

    I will not call it a rebrand. 😂

    Last week someone responded to my post on Notes saying, “This is a really great post on branding.” I think they missed the point.

    A brand is a can of soup.

    An artist isn’t a brand. An artist has a style.1

    Andy Warhol silk screen of Campbell's Soup can. The label is green and orange. The tin is a pink purple.

    For me this is a mindset shift away from branding toward developing my style. I’m taking a Masterclass in The Art of Storytelling from Neil Gaiman right now. He says,

    “Style is the stuff you can’t help doing.”

    He suggests the best way to develop your creative voice is to write and keep writing and keep writing.

    Or make stuff and make more stuff and make more stuff.

    Eventually your style will come through.

    Style isn’t something you create with a mood board. It isn’t a business strategy. It is your heart and soul. You find it by doing the work and being brave enough to be honest. I see all of *waves hands* this online stuff as a creative portal. It’s all art.

    Let’s stop being “brands” and be artists.

    Let your work change and evolve and grow.

    Be more yourself.

    Not an edited version that is easily palatable.

    This week I’ve been sewing my various identities back together crazy quilt style.

    You may have noticed my Substack publication is now called Kindle Curiosity. Moving forward I plan to write more long form emails and they will be in this section.2

    Linocut design of campfire with watercolor flames and logs

    Today you’re getting Down the Rabbit Hole which is a studio update and a list of rabbit holes (links, books, etc.) for you to explore.

    Neurodivergent Space Time is an unmasked podcast to explore autism and other neurodivergent identities from the inside out.

    The Messy Middle is behind the scenes podcast about art and life. I’m launching it for paid subscribers next month.

    Textured paper with teal crayon scribbles. Typewriter font reads THE MESSY MIDDLE.

    Cabinet of Curiosities is a place for things that don’t fit anywhere else. Making room for this kind of eclecticism is precisely what this un-branding process is all about. These posts might be one-off experiments or they may turn into projects of their own.

    Wooden shelves of shells

    If you’re a long time friend you’ll notice these are all different “brand identities” I have used and dropped over the years. It has been such a healing process to gather them all up and stitch them together. We contain multitudes.

    Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    This week my creative energy has been focused right here on Substack. Aside from that I’ve been ideating and gathering supplies to create new works for This is My Brain on Motherhood. I’ll be sharing those soon.

    I’ve also interviewed artist Catherine Reinhart who is crowdfunding a project called The Collective Mending Sessions. I may do more of these if you enjoy them. Let me know!


    of shoes and ships and sealing wax

    Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

    Books

    After the crowdfunding campaign I put down every book I tried to read. Finally I took myself to the bookstore and ended up buying books in the kids section. Books are ageless. Read what brings you joy. These were so cozy and lighthearted and just what I needed during cocoon week.

    Neil Gaiman's Fortunately the Milk and Kiki's Delivery Service

    Substack

    I already had this post scheduled, but I had to jump back in to add a link to the latest installment of by Mar Grace. I had a hard time choosing a quote, but finally went with this one,

    “I am an artist, trying to string together my interests and my skills and my desires and my intuition. As soon as I start piling myself in to an online business world I get trapped into thinking I need to perfectly have a “funnel” and a “marketing plan” and to have it all figured out. It’s why our offering are shapes, malleable and shiftable.”

    The whole post it worth a read:

    Monday Monday
    Fatigue and the digital footprint
    Monday Monday is a free weekly newsletter. If you want to support this space and have access to my monthly advice column YES YES, comment on posts, and the occasional Friday Thread become a paid subscriber. You can also share excerpts of today’s Monday Monday on social media, forward it to someone who might benefit, or text it to a friend. Thank you for …
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    I’ve noticed a lot of authors post their books at the end of their emails. I haven’t made a fancy little graphic yet, but if you enjoyed my writing on branding you might like my book Discover Your Creative Ecosystem. It’s kind of like The Artist’s Way if Julia Cameron were saying “Humans are unique. Find what works for you.”

    Your whole life is an ecosystem for creativity.


    Substack has rudely told me my post is “too long for email” so I deleted what I had to say about this link. You’ll have to check it out for yourself. See you next time.

    Cheers,

    1

    If you want to learn more about Andy Warhol’s Campbell Soup Cans start here and here.

    2

    You’ll be subscribed to everything I post, but if you’d like to adjust your subscriptions you can do so here.

  • I'm not a brand. I'm a human. 🫀

    Reflections on marketing, identity, and neurodivergence.

    A vintage engraving style illustration of a dusty green rabbit jumping over typewriter text that reads, down the rabbit hole

    I’m still recovering energy from the picture book launch. But I’ve written a longer piece for you today. This has been simmering for a while now.

    Last year I took two big marketing classes by brilliant teachers and I’ve decided to ignore some of their biggest advice.

    Entering my Human Era.

    I’ve decided to stop trying to be a cohesive “brand.”

    Is this a bad idea? Possibly.

    Would I grow faster if I followed branding advice? Assuredly.

    But it is not for me.

    Over the years I have taken dozens of marketing classes for my many creative pursuits: marketing for wedding photography, marketing for bloggers, marketing for artists, marketing for – – yes, this was an actual class – – weirdos. (That one was actually pretty cool and I would honestly recommend, but I’m still ignoring one of the main lessons.)

    What they all have in common is a bit of homework to describe your business in 3 words (usually in the form of a Venn diagram.)1

    So I carve parts of my identity away like Cinderella’s sisters trying to fit into the the glass slipper.2

    I love a bit of homework. So I go about this bit of self mutilation quite happily choosing fonts and color palettes that best fit one facet of my persona.

    I think I’m a decade into online marketing classes at this point. Because I’ve been doing this for a while it has become almost second nature. I don’t even question it.

    “Branding” is just how it’s done.

    After all it’s not that different than the autistic masking I’ve done all my life. Like many autistics I often find my place in social circles by adding “value.” So this concept was something I am well accustomed to. The homework assignment felt like a no brainer. Show people the stuff they want to see.

    Don’t talk about Dungeons and Dragons in polite company.

    I fragmented my identity into the bits that were marketable. Sometimes I might even create two completely separate “brands.” I did this for marketing reasons, but also to appear less “scattered”, “unfocused”, or “flaky”. I see now that I was trying to hide neurodivergent traits that are classically associated with ADHD.

    Right after my masters degree I splintered into two people. The creative one and the geeky one.

    I started a wedding photography business inspired by vintage books. Meanwhile I was making quirky YouTube videos as one half of Swot Sisters. I’ve never found a way for those parts of myself to really inhabit the same space. Even last year I started two separate Substacks.

    An artsy Substack to talk about creativity. And a geeky space themed Substack to talk about neurodivergence (while weaving in lots of Star Trek and Doctor Who references.)

    I finally merged them last month.

    Over the years I’ve gone through a variety of rebrands. But I never found a “brand” that didn’t pinch like wearing a too small pair of shoes.

    Then something extraordinary happened.

    Even as I lost people who thought I was a flibbertigibbet3 I found myself surrounded by YOU. Curious, creative souls who don’t seem to mind (or actually like it?) when I color outside the lines, show the mess, or pilot the spaceship at breakneck speeds.

    Buckle your seatbelt because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

    I am done with chopping off pieces of myself to appear more “professional.” I’m ready to put on my Frizzle jumpsuit and get messy!

    Miss Frizzle in purple science dress, green weather jumpsuit, and blue reading dress.

    Moving forward you can expect more complexity, more mess, and more contradictory humanity here.

    I’m a human who:

    • makes art

    • writes fiction

    • self publishes books

    • reads sci fi & fantasy

    • teaches theatre at university

    • plays video games

    • home educates

    • bakes sourdough bread

    • tends a messy garden

    Who knows what may bubble up next?


    Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    of shoes and ships and sealing wax

    Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

    Read

    This post by was about writing, but for me encapsulates my lived (autistic) experience of social interactions.

    “…what do we do with the emotions continuing to whirl around in our heads? We’re left bruised and mentally composing replies we could have said and, get this, trying to justify our work to someone who, quite frankly, will never appreciate it whatever we do.”

    THE RED FERN 🌿 By Helen Redfern
    The Fear of Your Writing Being Misunderstood and Attracting Negativity
    This is a piece inspired by my thoughts on creative confidence and the fear of being seen by a bigger audience, that I originally posted on my blog last year. It was mentioned by Anna Schroeder on her Substack Writing Rampant a few days ago and so I thought I’d share it here…
    Read more

    Also resonating deeply with this post on navigating the challenges of being a neurodivergent author by .

    The Purple Vale
    I’m a terrible writer
    Spring is truly showing off, and I love it. The Purple Vale is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. What I don’t love so much is feeling like a failure. I am recovering from an author event from the weekend and probably will be all week, if I’m honest. It was my second such e…
    Read more

    I’m sure I’ll talk about it again, but I’ve finally begun reading Tress and the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson. It is THE most beautiful book I own. It feels like I’m holding a book that exists inside a Fantasy world. Like I’ve stepped into a story and pulled this off the mantle.

    It’s also a lovely lighthearted read. He wrote this for his wife loosely inspired by The Princess Bride (except the Princess is the hero).

    I listened while playing this pirate ship ambience and it was pretty great. 🏴‍☠️


    Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.


    That’s all for this week. Substack kept telling me I was going too long, so I kept a few links for next week.

    Fellow nerds, don’t miss the footnotes below.

    I’d love to know your thoughts. Leave a comment or hit reply to send me an email.

    Cheers,

    Sarah's signature with a big swoopy S
    1

    I actually did my own twist on this Venn diagram homework with my Constellation of Purpose. I was trying to unravel the idea that I was not 3 singular things, but perhaps my multipassionate pursuits were somehow united in purpose. You can download it for free here.

    2

    If you are not a fairy tale nerd… this does indeed happen in the classic Grimm version of the story.

    3

    Love this song. (The world could use more humans like Maria.)

  • How do we MEND our communities? 🪡🧵

    Catherine Reinhart & the Collective Mending Sessions

    Something a little different today. I’m interviewing artist Catherine Reinhart about the Collective Mending Sessions. Enjoy!


    What’s your mending origin story? Did you or someone special to you sew or mend when you were little?

    Actually, my mending origin story starts in 2017. My mom handed me a tattered quilt top. It was a damaged quilt that was originally mine from my teenage years. I used and abused it. The quilt was almost in ribbons. When I moved away to college, she asked if I wanted to take it. I said, “No, you can just get rid of it.”

    She, being wiser than I kept it. 

    Fast forward 20 years and she handed it back to me. 

    I knew I needed to repair it.

    I began teaching myself how to mend. While I did have years of hand skills in garment construction and hand embroidery, I had never learned to mend. I didn’t even know how to darn a sock! So I set out to teach myself through books and tutorials. Through this, the resource library for The Collective Mending Sessions was established. 

    Quickly I realized that this huge (for art standards) quilt measuring 7 by 9 feet was too much for me to do by myself. It was also strangely imbued with the emotional weight of my teenage years; angst, shifting beliefs, independence, and identity conflicts. 

    I could not be alone with that quilt. 

    So, The Collective Mending Sessions was born. I invited friends and strangers in my community to stitch alongside one another, lending our collective stitches to these abandoned quilts and asking, “How do we MEND our communities?”

    How did mending become part of your creative practice?

    As always, it started with an object. A damaged quilt, which demanded to be repaired. 

    Interestingly, in the rest of my studio practice, I am continually taking textiles apart not repairing them. Transforming them, indeed, into contemporary fiber artworks but always with a compulsion towards disassembly. 

    However, repair is always a process of doing and undoing. A process of fighting off the inevitable decay. I find that process to be full of tenuous hope.

    What are your tips for someone who wants to start mending and doesn’t know where to start?

    Start with something you don’t care about. Small stakes. 

    Mend with a friend who knows how to sew.

    Check out the many books in my Resource Library, especially this one and this one

    First, cultivate looking. The first step to repair is to notice the damage. Slow down. 

    When you find something thinning or in need of repair, set it aside. Start a mending pile.

    Next, set aside one hour per week (or month) to attend to your mending pile. 

    Put it on your calendar. 

    Make it a relaxing, unpressured ritual. 

    It will take focus, patience, and problem-solving. Make space for those difficult things. 

    Ask for help. 

    Tell us about your artist residency in Ireland! What will you be making? How will you be involving the community?

    I am thrilled to be chosen for a 3-month residency at Uillian: West Cork Arts Centre in Skibbereen, Ireland from September 20 – Dec 20, 2023. My whole family will be going. We will be staying with my sister and her family. The kids will even get to go to the Irish village school with their cousins!

    During my three month residency, I will produce new works in my Topography of Dwelling series and engage the visitors to Uillinn and the community at large by hosting The Collective Mending Sessions (CMS). CMS is a series of workshops that cultivate care for cloth and community through the meditative practice of slow stitching. During these workshops, visitors are invited to repair an abandoned quilt together as Catherine teaches basic mending and facilitates discussion. These workshops will be held in October and November.

    Additionally, I plan to do extensive interdisciplinary experimentation into new fiber works, sculptural works, and works on paper. Building on my current body of work, Topography of Dwelling, these works will consider themes of home, labor, and loss in juxtaposition with the architectural, the industrial, and the archaeological. I will reflect on my maternal experience, mapping, and familial relationships. My inquiry is propelled by the question: How can I, as an artist, borrow methods from anthropology to map and archive domestic spaces?

    How can we help make this magic happen?!

    Give a tax-deductible donation to support taking CMS to Ireland! 

    While I get to enjoy a fantastic private studio and support to interact with the community, the residency does not provide a stipend or travel support. 

    My goal is to raise $10,000 to support travel expenses, art materials, my artist stipend, and administrative and shipping costs related to mailing the campaign rewards.

    The campaign runs May 1 – 31, 2023.

    Real Talk: $10,000 is the most I have tried to raise. EVER. Frankly, it is pretty intimidating. 

    That is why I need your help to make this magic happen! A friend of mine commented recently on how hard it is for artist mothers to make things happen to accept an award. How we MOVE MOUNTAINS to make our art exist!

     Really, we always have help. Moving mountains takes villages full of other movers and inch by inch we accomplish the insurmountable. 

    Where can we follow you online?

    Please consider joining me on my adventures.

    Links | The Collective Mending Sessions

    www.collectivemendingsessions.com

    IG: @collectivemendingsessions

    FB: https://www.facebook.com/collectivemendingsessions

    Links | Studio Practice

    www.catherinereinhart.com

    IG: @catherine_reinhart_studio

    FB:https://www.facebook.com/c.r.studioCatherineReinhart

    BIO

    Catherine Reinhart is an interdisciplinary artist based in Iowa. Reinhart creates fiber work and conducts social practice with abandoned textiles around themes of domestic labor, connection, and care. She received her BFA in Integrated Studio Arts in 2008 from Iowa State University. In 2012, she completed her MFA in Textiles from the University of Kansas. Her works have been exhibited locally, regionally, and nationally. She is the recipient of numerous local, state, and national grants. Reinhart was honored as a 2020 Iowa Artist Fellow, an Artist-in-Residence at Terrain Residency (2021), a recipient of the Alex Brown Foundation’s Residency (2022), and an Artist-in-Residence at the West Cork Arts Center in Ireland (2023).

  • Writing the book we wish we'd had as autistic kids.

    We’re doing it for them. ↓

    A vintage engraving style illustration of a dusty green rabbit jumping over typewriter text that reads, down the rabbit hole

    We’re doing it for them. ↓

    Collage of childhood photos Sarah with an awkward flat smile and a pink bow, Gracie peeking out from behind a wall. Both wearing ruffly dresses. Around age 5.

    There is ONE DAY left to bring our picture book to life.

    If you missed last week’s announcement I’m co-creating a picture book about neurodiversity and sensory processing with . This has been a whirlwind eight day campaign. We’re sitting at 70% funded with just one day to go. (The campaign closes Tuesday at midnight.)

    Preorder or donate a copy here.

    We will be connecting donations to school, libraries, and neurodivergent families. If you would like to choose the location you book is donated you absolutely can!

    We’re writing the book we wish we had growing up.

    Baby Sarah with a bunny cake side eyeing mother. Toddler Gracie in a blue romper with white shoes and lace socks. Toddler Sarah with a ruffled bloomers on head. Toddler Gracie in a cozy hoodie on slide.

    Here’s a piece that Gracie wrote for Instagram about the why behind this book.

    They didn’t know it then–that it wasn’t their fault. That they weren’t just weird. Too loud. Too shy. Too wiggly. Strange. Loners.

    That others didn’t feel things the way they did.
    That lacey socks didn’t make everyone’s skin crawl.
    That other people didn’t find showers torturous.

    Sarah in orange t-ball uniform squinting and holding bat. Gracie in a blue dress on a swing. Both around 5 years old.

    They didn’t know that there were others like them,
    who also collect keys (we both do),
    And struggle with change,
    And feel the creeping fear of being caught, in every second of every social interaction, if they don’t appear “normal” enough.

    That their “flaws” weren’t really flaws–just differences.

    That there were words to describe the way they experience the world.

    Toddler Sarah in pool with big sun hat. Gracie with Tigger pjs and a Big Bird plushie. Sarah in a vintage chair with the same hat. Toddler Gracie climbing on a wooden playground.

    We both grew up undiagnosed autistic (among other things–we’re both multiply neurodivergent), and it’s hard not to feel… a bit haunted by that. To look back at our past selves and wonder if they would have felt less ashamed, discouraged, lonely, if they’d known. But we know, too, that being diagnosed at an early age doesn’t make life easy, or magically mean everyone understands you. As much as we didn’t understand ourselves, neurotypical people didn’t understand us, either. Even if we’d known we were different, we didn’t have any of the words to try to explain how. What it feels like. Why it matters.

    Young Sarah in Belle costume holding rose. Preteen Sarah walking a wire on a high ropes course. Preteen Gracie on monkey bars. Young Gracie in a Peter Pan costume.

    That’s why we’re creating our picture book, How it Feels To Me.

    It’s for neurotypical people, to understand more of how brains work in general, and why some of us might seem different.

    It’s for neurodivergent people, to learn about themselves, & put some of how it feels into words, & find ways to express that to people who wouldn’t understand otherwise.

    This book is focused on sensory processing, & the science of how brains work, but if you follow the threads deeper, it’s about a lot more than that.

    In a lot of ways, we’re making it for our younger selves.

    Sarah pointing and laughing in pink dress at 2-3 years old. Toddler Gracie putting a leaf in water. Toddler Gracie laughing on a swing.

    To reach back through time, & yes, give them facts and words and tools to care for themselves–but even more so, to give them a hug if they want it, and a gentle whisper:

    It’s okay, darling. You’re not alone.


    We are 70% funded, & there’s ONE day left!

    If you’d like to help make this book happen, now is the time!

    Click here to preorder or to donate a book to a library, school, or neurodivergent family.


    Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

  • What is Sensory Modulation? 🌀 Ep. 002

    An explanation of overstimulation from an autistic artist

    Episode 0002

    Today I’m so excited to announce that I am co-creating a picture book with friend and illustrator Gracie Klumpp. 🥳

    This is the second episode of Neurodivergent Space Time. This is a little experiment in unmasked podcasting I started last month. If you missed the first episode you can listen here.

    Show Notes

    Find the transcript here.

    Support our picture book How it Feels to Me by pledging or preordering on Indiegogo.

    Subscribe to Gracie’s new Substack Leave the Fingerprints and follow her Instagram.

    A peek at some of the concept art…

    Sketchbook surrounded by materials. Pencil drawn face with wide eyes and jagged lines. Text reads: Without modulation you would sense every little thing at once and you wouldn't be able to focus. This is called overstimulation.
    White hands illustrating green and blue brain on a black character. Other characters include a character with coral flowers in brain. And a a figure with eyes closed and orange jagged lines surrounding their head.