Making for Survival 🖍️

Kitchen Table Drawings for Self Regulation

This is a long one so put the kettle on and get comfy.

A round up of what I’ve been making for the past month or so…

First an update on parenting.

The short version is that we’ve decided to home educate. (Scroll to the first image for art content.)

For lots of complicated reasons school didn’t work out. I don’t need to get into the details, but ultimately we decided the funds we were putting toward tuition would be better spent on someone who could help out 1:1 at home.

That means I’ll have fewer hours of childcare, but hopefully we won’t be sick all the time. (The last two years I’ve been telling Patreon we were sick again every single month. I’m finally realizing that what we are an immunocompromised family and what we’re experiencing was not normal.)

We’re still getting over fevers from the short time Davy was at school so we are taking this transition slowly and not rushing it.

Meanwhile I’ve been making a LOT.

Making is truly a self regulation tool for me.

So I’ve been turning to ways we can fold art and making into our days.

Davy is finally to that magic age where he can sit at the table with me and draw or stand at the counter and mix sourdough starter. This is the part of motherhood I was most looking forward to so I’m glad he’ll be home and we can have more adventures together.

Drawing

I make art all the time, but at some point I became scared of drawing. Growing up and in undergrad courses I drew all the time. I never questioned whether I could draw something or if it was any good. I just got on with it.

Then I went a decade or so without drawing.

Now I feel incredibly rusty.

But (rust and all) I sat down at the kitchen table with Davy and joined The Good Ship Illustration’s art club. What I love about drawing is how simple it is. It’s not messy. It’s not stressful. And it’s perfect for parallel play.

Art club was all about continuous line drawing.

I find this way of drawing to be an exercise in seeing.

I used Davy’s Stabilo Woody pencils and the chunky bold lines meant I couldn’t be precious about it.

But also there’s something alive about this way of drawing that my old perfectionist self never tapped into.

Since that day we’ve pulled out our sketchbooks and drawn together most afternoons.

I foresee lots of drawing at the kitchen table in the weeks to come.

Maybe I will remember how to see.

Writing

I’ve accepted that pivoting our school / childcare plans means my book release may shift, and that’s okay. It may take some time to find the right person to help out at home and we don’t want to rush it.

Rather than pushing myself into burn out I am taking things slowly.

I’ve been mindful of tending my own creative ecosystem through this process and observing what it needs.

Last weekend Nathan watched Davy while I fixed all of the images for my book. I tweaked saturation and brightness in photos that were printing too dull and standardized all of the crop ratios.

Slow progress is progress.

I’m going to continue making the final edits piece by piece and hope to order the next proof later this month.

Soft Sculpture

This week I’ve also revived my soft sculpture. I started this two years ago, but put it away in favor of weaving (because it was more toddler friendly.) Last year I picked it up again, only to find Davy was still too curious about the needle, and put it down in favor of experiments with 360 VR.

Both times I made a few “brain noodles” before pivoting, but couldn’t gain any forward momentum. This week I’m finally gaining traction and I think I’m almost halfway done!

The final piece will be a sculptural brain made of Davy’s baby clothes (including his “coming home” onesie, the pair of pants he took his first step in, a maternity shirt of mine, baby washcloth, etc.) It will be a representation of the soft emotional memories I’ve made over these past few years of parenting.

(There are a few process videos on Instagram if you’re curious to see more. They are saved to my WIP highlight.)

Art & Advocacy

Part of my graduate studies encompassed Art for Social Change and I’ve noticed my own art practice converging with my advocacy. It feels like coming full circle.

When I make art that speaks to my lived experience it is intrinsically tied to my neurodivergence. This wasn’t conscious when I titled the My Brain on Motherhood series, but adds another layer of meaning and focus to the body of work.

Then there is the direct advocacy and educational work I began this summer with my anonymous project Neurodivergent Spacetime.

There is so much potential for these practices to overlap and intersect.

For example, when I filmed this for my Neurodiversity training I knew I wanted a silent version for my art portfolio. The voice over is an educational tool and the silent version (which I have yet to edit) will be a fine art piece.

Both are advocacy.

I’m interested in exploring this intersection further as I create more pieces about neurodivergence and autism.

Sewing

My mom can sew absolutely anything. Growing up we put her to the test with various Halloween costumes and Daisy Kingdom dresses (oh, the puffed sleeves!)

She went back to university in her 50s and studied costuming. She made everything from boned corsets to Madame de Pompadour’s panniers (the really wide skirts you have to navigate through doorways sideways.)

She taught us the sewing basics growing up, but I always preferred her to sew things for me. (I mean, when your mom is a sewing super hero, why bother?) Lately, I’ve been making an effort to sew myself (even if the results are kind of wonky) and have managed a few small projects.

Today she brought over her serger and she watched Davy while I made these…

(It’s hard to show it in a photo really, hence the weird head tilted pose. You’re welcome.)

They’re essentially stretchy headscarf’s that wrap over the back of your head and twist in the front. The Land Girl look without fussing with silk scarves and bobby pins. I sewed FOUR of these up while mum watched Davy.

I’m going to make headbands next, but ran out of time today.

They are imperfect, but wearable. Massive success!

I am hoping for more imperfect sewing in the weeks to come. If you’d like to make one the pattern I used is here. (I didn’t line mine and serged the edges instead so they wouldn’t be too warm. Maybe I’ll make winter versions another time.)

Baking

Davy & I started two more sourdough starters (white flour and locally milled rye) right before we all caught the crud. This has happened literally every time I make a sourdough starter. Right when its getting all bubbly and magical we get sick.

But now that we won’t have a constant influx of school germs I am hoping we can stay well enough to finish these off. Right now they are languishing in the back of the fridge until I can revive them.

Substack is warning this email is almost too long / large so I’d better wrap this up.

What have you been making?

Let’s chat in comments.

Sarah