Author: admin@sarahshotts.com

Where to start?

I’ve had a few questions about where to start with The Wheel of Time.

So I thought I would write a short post about the books, show, and community that I could point people too. I talked quite a bit about my connection to Wheel of Time (WoT) in my recent podcast chat with after she brought up the maps from The Lord of the Rings (LOTR).

As part of processing I’m a human – not a brand, maybe I will occasionally post deep dives into things I love. 🥰

These books came into my life at a time that was very formative and needed and they are essentially etched into my bones. Considering the time they were written (the first book was published in 1990) they were incredibly forward thinking and ambitious. If you’re a fan of fantasy books or television you’ve probably read or seen stories that were influenced by this series.

The first book purposely mirrors Tolkien’s world.

But it soon expands and comes to include a diverse cast of flawed and interesting characters. Compared to LOTR which completely sidelines women (don’t get me started) the most powerful people in the world of WoT are women and some characters even read as nonbinary.

While it is definitely true that some of the gender dynamics didn’t age super well, I feel confident that Robert Jordan would have added more nuance if he wrote the books now.

It was also purposefully diverse in a time that fantasy books were very white. And while the story begins with a male protagonist this is really an ensemble story.

This is a character driven story that takes place in a magical world.

It’s also rooted deeply in our own myths and legends. There are direct and indirect references to Arthurian legend, as well as Welsh folklore, and that of other cultures around the world.

The magic system is not hand waving; nor is it overly complicated and technical. I don’t think it spoils things to say that it is based in the elements (earth, air, fire, water, spirit) and described in a really interesting and captivating way. The way that “spells” are formed is called weaving, which I also find an artistic connection to.

I will include a content warning for depictions of violence.

Robert Jordan was a war veteran and the themes he explores in the work are directly influenced from his time in service. He does not shy away from the horrors of war so if you are sensitive to onscreen violence the show may be too much. When I read the books my mind somewhat glossed over the horror and graphic elements, but the show is putting them front and center and reminding me just how dark some of these characters are. This is a story of good trumping over evil after all.

That said, this is not a show to watch with young kids.

I know I have a sensitive readership and want you to be fully aware of what you’re getting into. From my perspective the story is not centered on violence, but there are some disturbing images when it does occur.

Season 2 is out now!

If you want to explore the world of the Wheel of Time the Amazon show is a great place to start. The actors all fit their parts amazingly well and are doing a beautiful job of bringing this show to life.

The best thing about watching first is that you can carry the visuals into the book as you read.

The show runner Rafe Judkins is a long time fan of the books and his team is working with the source material in creative and interesting ways. They are taking hundreds and hundreds of pages and keeping the heart of the story while translating it to a new medium. To me it feels like they’re collaging the material together in new and interesting ways.

You can always jump into the books later on. (Or the audiobooks which are great!)

Selfishly, I’d love to see the viewing numbers skyrocket so we can get the whole series. They’ve already been renewed for Season 3 and started shooting that before the strikes.

Joining the WoT fandom

The Wheel of Time fandom is the best – statistically the best – when it comes to being welcoming and inclusive.

That said, there are some trolls (especially on reddit & Facebook) but those are generally outliers. If you see someone being hateful or racist they are not speaking for the larger WoT community.

Twitter of Time

If you’re a new watcher (or reader) the WoT community really loves hearing and seeing your thoughts. You can jump into the conversation on Twitter using the hashtag #TwitterofTime. (I know, I know, but I only follow #TwitterofTime and it’s actually a nice place – we collectively block the trolls.) Most of us have accounts just for WoT content so it is not a dumpster fire like the rest of Twitter.

We are pretty careful not to spoil new readers, but you do need to be careful. Here’s a helpful thread of how to block spoiler hashtags on Twitter.

The Light’s Work Podcast

You can also subscribe to The Light’s Work podcast which is generally spoiler free.

The Dusty Wheel YouTube

Watch out for spoilers, but The Dusty Wheel is the heart of the fandom. Be sure to check spoiler levels on this channel so you don’t run into secrets before you’re ready.

There WoT cast interviews from Season 1 are pretty safe.

Let me know if you watch (or read!)

Keep in mind I love this series with my whole heart (while knowing it’s imperfect – everything is). If you only want to complain maybe find someone else to talk to. 😂

But I’d love to hear what you enjoy or find inspiring about the series.

What resonates? What Ajah are you? Who’s your favorite character?

Let’s nerd out together.

Two new works that have been a long time coming.

My creative process is slow.

A large part of my art practice at the moment is collecting materials and reflecting on how best to use them.

This was the case for The Mental Load as well as my newest piece which began with documenting videos of removing clothing tags from my kid’s clothing.

Those videos became this short film titled Meltdown Prevention.

This film is a documentation of sensory care. I am shown carefully removing clothing tags from my son’s clothes while he plays nearby in the studio. By recording the process I am making this invisible care visible.

Clothing tags are a sensory trigger for both myself and my son. Due to neurological differences in sensory modulation clothing tags can contribute to sensory overload. Removing tags is an act of care to prevent overstimulation and related meltdowns.

The tags collected were used to create a companion piece titled, Meltdown.

While documenting the removal process was part of the work I knew I wanted to display the tags themselves in some way. I considered many different things, but it was only after making my gleeman’s cloak that my brain considered sewing the tags onto a garment.

It was a great reminder that following our curiosity and doing things we might consider a “waste of time” can feed into our art practice in surprising and unexpected ways.

In retrospect this form seems somewhat inevitable. Sewing the tag back onto a garment. But I had to come at the idea sideways because my previous ideas were overly complicated.

I do have a penchant for over complication.

Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week. (I’ve been saving links all summer so I have more than usual.) 😉

Read

First off, love this piece about Zelda and neurodivergence by !

Rusty Niall

How playing Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (sorta) helped me to procrastinate less

Okay, from the outset I can see how the title of this post appears to be clickbait. Productivity + currently popular video game = clicks from people who seek distraction while hoping that the distract…

Read more

2 years ago · 2 likes · 4 comments · Niall O’Sullivan

I also enjoyed this piece which resonated with my own tangled experience of perfectionism masquerading as professionalism. And the call to “do it messy” from .

Girl With Antlers

Do It Messy

It’s 3 am. Another early morning feeding. I have my 8-week-old son draped across my chest, heaving milk-drink little sighs. He tends to sleep better if I let him lie on me for a bit after nursing before setting him down in the bassinet. I do what has become my routine for these midnight hours—I open my phone one-handed and start browsing…

Read more

2 years ago · 1 like · Kerani Arpaia

A reflection on permission from rooted in one of my favorite childhood films The Wizard of Oz,

“If only I could go meet The Wizard!

But eventually I learned the only person who could authorize me… was me.”

Austin Kleon

Off to see the wizard

Hey y’all, Almost every Friday night, Meg makes pizza and we sit down with the boys and watch a movie. (Here’s what we loved last year + her recipe.) We’ve had a particularly good streak of classics in the past 3 Fridays: Mary Poppins, Tron, and The Wizard of Oz…

Read more

2 years ago · 63 likes · 104 comments · Austin Kleon

And on daily rituals,

“So, what makes these daily habits a ritual? For me, it’s about slowing yourself and the process all the way down. Essentially, you want to do what my Grandma called “making it nice”. Making it nice means taking the time over something you enjoy but could easily rush through and noticing how you can elevate experiences you’re already having to make them more special.”

Haver & Sparrow

Creating daily rituals to fill your cup

Hello lovely I’ve just made another cup of tea. It’s next to me now, steam unfurling, waiting for me to cradle it and take a sip. It’s in a delicate bone china mug that’s large enough to wrap both hands around and is decorated with a papercut design of Lerwick’s waterfront. A Christmas gift from my partner. Inside…

Read more

2 years ago · 80 likes · 62 comments · Charlene Storey

Play

These new Ouisi cards are so fun! 🥰

https://instagram.com/p/Cwlv353xiV9/

Watch

The true pace of art (versus timelapse):

https://instagram.com/p/CwkZmUMgs6x/

Illuminated manuscripts with embroidered mending! 🤩

https://instagram.com/p/Cv2XRInI6yY/

I love Adam Savage’s YouTube channel and learning about his creative process. (You may remember Adam from Mythbusters.) He is also neurodivergent and I get so much inspiration from watching him work. This video is his reflection on (intentional) visual cacophony. Something I also find inspiring, but have been taught is “wrong.”

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A peek into what I was watching and reading last year:

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That’s all for this week. I’d love to hear from you.

Feel free to share a link to a post you’d like to share or tell me about a project you’re working on in comments below.

Cheers,

P.S. I don’t seem to be sticking to my fortnightly schedule. 😂 I have too much to share.

If you’ve been around you’ll notice this cycle between posting weekly, trying to pull back, and posting weekly again. I think allowing myself that space is helpful, but I am sometimes afraid I appear erratic. Nevertheless I want to be transparent about my process and this push and pull to manage energy levels is part of it.

It seems to happen when I try to write too many long form posts in a row. While I need to remember Substack posts can take many different shapes!

Last week I wanted to share my chat with .

This week I’ve finished two art works for my portfolio. Then I found this half drafted Rabbit Hole email which has been waiting to go out for some time.

I’m still going to be mindful of my energy levels, but I may pivot back to weekly because I just have too much to share for every other week. I’m musing on what this means for the paid tier and if I will go back to monthly bonus content. 🧐

Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

August 31, 2023

Masking, Maps & Finding Belonging

I’m back from my podcasting hiatus and so excited to share this episode with autistic artist & poet . We talk about creativity and its intersection with neurodivergence. It was such a great chat I completely forgot we were podcasting because Morgan was such a joy to talk to. Join us as we geek out about the things we love and our shared experiences.

Scroll down for the show notes and links to everything we mention in today’s episode.

is an autistic artist, poet, and musician. She has published several books, including the WSJ Bestseller All Along You Were Blooming. Morgan uses a wide range of media to make her work – everything from pencil and acrylic to digital collage and 3D virtual spaces, and much more.

Website // Substack // Instagram // Books // Storyteller App

Show Notes

Read the transcription.

Subscribe via Apple Podcasts or RSS feed.

And rediscovering The Wheel of Time 🐉

Today I want to talk about creative joy.

Reconnecting to The Wheel of Time has reminded me what creativity felt like before it got all tangled up in career and profession and entrepreneurship.

For the last decade my creative energy has been focused outwards.

Everything I did became fodder for “content” on Instagram, YouTube, or (eventually) Substack.

I love documenting the process, but the frame of creative business definitely impacted the types of things I chose to make and spend my time on. This was particularly tangled up in “positioning” myself as a professional artist & author.

Certain parts of my identity got lost along the way. I’m in the process of untangling it all which I wrote about a few months ago: I’m not a brand. I’m a human. 🫀

What I didn’t share then is that rediscovering my humanity was largely tied up in a book series called The Wheel of Time.

During my teenage years I had basically no friends my own age. What I did have was The Wheel of Time. I logged in to a fansite called Wotmania every morning and later on a fan fiction site called Silklatern. The interactions I had with other fans was the one place that I really “fit in”.

Navigating two degrees as an undiagnosed autistic took pretty much all of my social energy. During that time I completely lost touch with fandom and reading for fun. By the time I finished my postgraduate studies I’d pretty much forgotten what it felt like to get lost in a book.

Enter 2020. I had a one year old baby. The world was chaos. And I turned to… The Wheel of Time. I pulled the Eye of the World off my shelf and fell into a world of magic that I knew and loved. The characters were old friends and the story was comforting in its familiarity, but that wasn’t all.

Rereading the books awakened something in me.

A creative spark. It is no coincidence that these are the books I was reading when I starting writing my first book, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.

The writing of Robert Jordan just has this effect on me. I love other authors and other books, but the Wheel of Time is etched into my bones.

It’s hard to explain. It’s… ineffable.

But there must be some kind of soul connection to something in this story for me. Why do we love the stories we love? It’s something I’m really curious about. It always feels flat and superficial when I try to explain.

The Wheel of Time has always inspired me to create. I high school I filled notebooks and notebooks with world building. I made sketches of costumes and drafted stories and put myself to sleep imagining characters in worlds of my own.

I gave up writing somewhere along the way, but after self publishing my first book I’ve also started writing fiction again. I’ve been working on a fantasy story that I’d like to tell for the last two NaNoWriMo’s and I’m ready to start working on it year round.

Meanwhile I have felt the ta’veren tug (if you know you know) pulling me deeper and deeper into WoT fandom community.

It’s becoming an important part of my life so you can probably expect to hear more about it here.

It all started in March when I created a muppet style puppet for a song parody contest… an in world version of These are the People in Your Neighborhood. The first project I’ve done purely for creative joy in YEARS. 🤯

This was in no way for my portfolio, content marketing, or even something for my family. It was a gift for the Wheel of Time community and complete joy to make.

I really loved the challenge of creating in a brand new medium (I’d never made a puppet before) and figuring it out through trial and error. I drew on various creative skills in a way I haven’t done since working on set and props during my undergraduate degree.

Almost immediately after finishing it I jumped into another project. A gleeman’s cloak.

Something I noticed about making something for me was that I didn’t have to fuss over setting up a camera to film or creating perfect process photos.

I wasn’t making this for DIY content. I was making it for me.

Because of this I worked for many hours at the kitchen table (much less photogenic than my studio) simply because I could cut squares or I could sew while Davy role played as Link from Zelda.

I wrote a bit about that here:

I sat down to write about the cloak itself today, but instead I found myself wanting to share the story behind how it came to be.

The shift that opened up “time” for something like this. News flash: I didn’t actually have more time. I just used my time differently. I spent a similar amount of time last summer making this.

And the value I’m finding in creative joy.

Let’s discuss.

What would you make if you had a dedicated period of time where you couldn’t do anything productive and had to let yourself play?

Where do you find creative joy?

Cheers,

Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

August 15, 2023

It’s going to be a short one this week.

All humans have a limited capacity.

Even me.

I suppose I’ve always had limits, but before motherhood I always had the bandwidth (read: time and supports) to recover after overextending myself.

What I’m learning is that my autistic brain finds the daily reality of parenting to be overstimulating and exhausting. So I have much less ability to “push through” than I used to. And forcing myself to try can have some very real consequences.

So I’m considering all the plates I have spinning and which ones I need to set down.

I already know I’m at max capacity.

So I can’t start new things (like the fall semester of teaching university) without putting some plates down.

I actually meant spinning plates on sticks, which I learned to do in uni, but juggling plates and dropping them is also the right vibe. 😂

Something I can’t change is that we’ve lost our sitter. This may sound like small potatoes, but we have very specific needs for childcare. Finding a replacement will take some time.

One thing I can change is how often I post to Substack.

Moving forward I’ll be posting fortnightly instead of weekly… at least for now.

(That’s every other week if you’re not a Jane Austen nerd.) 😘

Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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Ok, that’s it for this week. But I want to hear from you.

Let’s discuss.

Are you at capacity too? Do you have space to grow? Or need to cut some things loose?

Cheers,

P.S. I’m quite aware one of those spinning plates is my anthology. If you want to submit please send everything by August 15 so I don’t have to track you down!

Also I’m sorry I cannot review anyone’s material in advance. If you are interested you need to complete the submission form.

Submit below:

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Down the Rabbit Hole is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

August 4, 2023

Parenting, Capitalism & Creativity

This is a Messy Middle ramble podcast for paid subscribers. A peek into my creative process mid pivot.

Here is the transcript. It is messier than usual this week because we lost our sitter and I’m stretched a bit thin. But I think it’s close enough to follow along.

Here’s a peek at my gleeman’s cloak which I will write about next week!

And here is the Sensory Processing Training I mentioned.

The Quiver

Free Sensory Processing Training

Watch now (52 min) | This is a free resource. If you’d like to support this project you can pledge to a paid tier here or at Down the Rabbit Hole. Or donate via Venmo @sarahdshotts.To support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Click here to download the slides, transcript, and printables…

Read more

2 years ago · 2 likes · Sarah Shotts

Let’s discuss.

Do you resonate with any of what I’ve shared?

Cheers,

Sarah

P.S. Would you like to join the beta group for my (free) neurodivergent creative project? Just let me know and I’ll add you to the list!

And transparency about where the money went

A couple weeks ago I got stuck writing this post. Mostly because I needed 2-3 emails to explore everything I wanted to say. Here is the first. Sending it out early since I’m traveling this weekend. ✈️

I started publishing on Substack one year ago. 🥳

Today I’m pulling back the curtain on that experience including sharing exactly how much profit came in and where it went.

I feel like we’re all expected to project this smokescreen of ultimate professionalism when the real magic is human to human connection.

Over the past 10 years longform content seemed like it had it’s heyday and was a thing of the past.

Engagement on my blog gradually declined until it was crickets. My podcast was getting downloads, but there was no convenient way to hold discussions.

What I love best about Substack is the community. The robust commenting system that allows for ongoing discussion and connecting.

Over the past year I’ve noticed more and more comments in my posts and watched connections bloom and flourish.

My words now exist in an ecosystem instead of a vacuum and are having a real tangible impact.

I write for connection.

My goal isn’t more eyeballs or ever increasing paid subs (even though Substack seems to want us to want those things).

It’s about connecting with kindred spirits.

As an autistic person who spent most of my life feeling like an outsider… I do not take that connection lightly.

I write to exchange experiences about creativity, about neurodivergence, about identity, and about motherhood.

I don’t write to hear myself talk.

I write to hear from you.

Comments are the lifeblood of my Substack. Your words are what keep me coming back to the keyboard week after week.

Financial Transparency

I see more and more folks who are showing up to Substack as a full time job (or a big wedge in a multi passionate pie.)

Maybe one day Substack will be profitable for me, but for now it is a self sufficient passion project.

I also want to share transparently that my partner’s IT job covers most of our living expenses. And my university adjunct position helps us pay for childcare (a neurodivergent sitter who we love and are so grateful for.) Growing up in families with less financial stability I really want to name that privilege.

Last year I made a stab at envisioning my creative work as a business. But after my husband received a generous promotion I had to reevaluate.

Why are we always trying to make more money? What is the point?

What does it matter if I have two degrees and am not financially contributing to the family? What about all of my unpaid labor parenting and educating?

What if I didn’t ask myself what my work was “worth” but instead focused on the impact I’d like it to have?

I’m reimagining everything – starting with my paid tier here on Substack, but more on that later.

That said, I would love for my creative pursuits to break even.

Paid subscribers help me afford transcription for podcast episodes, upgrade equipment (like when my microphone stopped working earlier this year), and invest in materials and tools to make things.

Your support here helps me focus on making non commercial art like this:

And this:

Rather than chasing whatever seems the most marketable. 🐇

I’ve also decided moving forward that educational content I create about neurodivergence will be FREE for EVERYONE.

Which means the Sensory Processing Training I created last summer is now free to share with anyone (including schools and teachers!)

The Quiver

Free Sensory Processing Training

Watch now (52 min) | This is a free resource. If you’d like to support this project you can pledge to a paid tier here or at Down the Rabbit Hole. Or donate via Venmo @sarahdshotts.To support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Click here to download the slides, transcript, and printables…

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2 years ago · Sarah Shotts

So where does all the money go?

I’m glad you asked.

The State of the Stack

Here’s a breakdown of the money that came in and went out last year.

Paid subs came to $340.

Substack and Stripe took the first cut.

Then I paid for transcription services through Otter.

I paid for VSCO which I use to edit photographs on my iPhone.

Then, when my podcast mic died on me, I used the rest of the generous funds to upgrade.

NOTE: You DO NOT NEED a fancy microphone to podcast or share audio content. But when you invest in my creative work I like to use that to help improve my gear and pay for creative supplies.

After buying a cable for the new mic I was $8.15 in the hole. I see this as a huge win and am so grateful to everyone who has pledged for any length of time.

What’s next?

I want to do something BIG. Something EXPANSIVE. 💫

I’ve asked myself what I would create if I completely removed the pressure to monetize and I’m excited to share that with you soon.

Let’s discuss.

If you had the privilege and funding to undertake a passion project what would it be?

Cheers,

An Open Call for Entwined Anthology 🌿

When I was a new mum I knew that I needed art.

But I didn’t quite understand why.

(Not like I do now.)

It’s incredibly hard to make art as a new parent because of all the time and energy that goes into keeping a tiny human alive.

But I expected this. So I had a plan.

For years I had determined to re-read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron as a new parent. Surely that would remind me how important my art was.

So I bought a shiny new copy and invited my Patreon supporters to read along with me. (To their credit no one told me I was crazy – even the other moms.)

I set about reading one chapter a week. I can’t remember how far I got before I realized that Julia had no idea what I really needed.

It turns out The Artist’s Way wasn’t the book I needed as a new mum.

I say this as someone who loves Julia Cameron and has re-read her books many times.

My brain really loves a right way of doing things. I latched on to Julia Cameron’s methods as a teenager and carried those expectations with me even if I wasn’t always acting on them. I went through inconsistent cycles of journaling and artist dates for decades.

Suddenly, I realized that Julia didn’t have a magic system.

She had a system that worked for her.

And sometimes worked for other people.

Some of you are probably thinking this is really obvious.

But it was earth shattering for me.

I wasn’t a failure. Her expectations simply did not align with my capacity.

What if I had my own potential for magic, but never discovered it because I was so locked on to Julia’s way?

I started releasing all of my expectations and starting fresh.

My creative process shattered into million pieces and I started putting it back together one fragment at a time. Ironically I was journaling – a lot. But I was also embracing inconsistency so it felt rebellious.

One day I started accidentally writing a book.

A book that said I was an artist whether or not I was making art every day.

That I was a writer even if I needed sleep more than morning pages.

That there was more to the creative process than the act of making.

I finished a rough draft in early 2020 and went on to survey over 100 creative mothers to weave in quotes and experiences beyond my own.

The first chapter was called, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem and eventually grew into a book of it’s own.

When COVID hit I lost access to the public library where I had been writing.

My husband took over the room that used to be my home office.

And had not yet discovered the power of noise cancelling headphones.

My mental health spiraled out. I could barely function much less write. I white knuckled my way through the next year until we finally finished my backyard studio. Eventually I pulled out my manuscript and it felt like it was written by a different person.

I took the chapter on creative ecosystems and ran with it, but once that was gone it felt like the heart of what I really wanted to say had already been said.

I was at a loss of how to move forward. I had no idea what to do with the beautiful quotes and survey data I had collected.

Until I began to reimagine the project as an anthology.

The anthology framework breathed life back into the project.

The idea that every mother needs different things was always central to the book I wanted to write, and what better way to say that than to make the whole project a collaboration.

With excitement I started building a creative team:

Cover artist Twiggy Boyer.

https://instagram.com/p/CsLsQVquJQQ/

Interior Illustrator Emily Jalinsky.

https://instagram.com/p/CZp9MfQlvjz/

Workbook Cover Artist Annie King.

https://instagram.com/p/Crj9hlCrZuo/

With these amazing artist mothers on board I am more excited than ever to bring this project to life.

But I need your help!

I’m looking for more creative mums to submit their writing to the project.

Learn more about the open call (and small stipend) below.

Or share this post to help spread the word!

Submit your writing to Entwined: Motherhood and Creativity. 🌿

The purpose of this anthology is to inspire mothers to pursue creativity, to reframe what “counts” as art, and to hold space for rest and ideation within the creative process. This isn’t just a book about making art. It’s about the whole of motherhood and how that impacts our creative process.

Submission Guidelines

CLOSED. This open call was for August 2023. The project is in progress and will be crowdfunded autumn of 2024.

Non fiction written works and poetry about the intersection of motherhood and the creative process.

There is no strict word count requirement.

Long form and short pieces are both welcome.

Anyone who identifies as a mother is invited to contribute.

Open Call image featuring artwork by: Twiggy Boyer.

Entering Substack Summer ☀️

I had something else planned today, but I’ve decided to pivot.

My sewing project has flared up my chronic back pain. 😫 I have something exciting to share, but I’ve been trying to write it while sitting on ice and it’s just not ready.

I’m concerned about the pain flare because next month I’ll be traveling for the first time since COVID times. Airplanes and hotel beds and standing in lines and all of that. ✈️

I have no idea how that’s going to impact me since I am essentially a different person than I was then.

So I’ve decided to pause longform Substack posts to prepare for (and then recover from) my July trip.

The best thing I can do is carve out some more white space and try to listen to my body right now.

So for the next few weeks I’m going to choose what and whether to publish based on my capacity. It may be something short or it may be nothing at all.

Today I’m sharing a round up of older posts you might have missed.

I’ll still be around reading comments and would love to know what you think. 🥰

Why I’ve been cutting hundreds of fabric squares. ✂️

Thanks for everyone’s support after last week’s post. If you missed it I wrote a coming out post about being nonbinary. 🏳️‍🌈 I expected to lose lots of folks and (so far) it was only 4. 🤷 Maybe all the hardcore conservatives left me when I picketed against Trump. Whoever did unsubscribe they did not announce themselves and I am thankful for that.

I’ve noticed a cycle within my creative ecosystem.1

After spending a lot of social energy on a big launch I love to work with my hands.

I first noticed this last year. After fulfilling my book preorders I spent months making the bricolage The Mental Load.2

If you’d like to see the process you can click here to see a timelapse. (Or click here for a closeup view of the finished work.)

After the picture book launch the project that chose me is textile.

I’ve been cutting hundreds of fabric squares to make a costume.

Specifically, I am making a gleeman’s cloak from The Wheel of Time (the hyperfocus of my youth). In that world a gleeman is a traveling performer who sings and tells stories. They wear a cloak made of fluttering patches in every color.3

When I started the project I didn’t realize it was about self regulation.

The more I follow my autistic impulses the more intuitive self regulation becomes.

I was just doing what felt right.

It was only when I started drafting this post that I made the connection to last year’s bricolage. Something about the repetitive action of making with my hands and creating something intuitive must help reset my brain. I’ve been observing myself since making this realization and the difference in how I feel before and after is profound.

Does anyone defrag their computer anymore?

I don’t think so, but I am an elder Millennial who defragged my desktop computer to get a few more years out of it.

Defragmentation was basically a way of tidying up storage space on a computer. The computer would take time (a LOT of time) reorganizing files so that they lined up neatly without all the gaps of wasted space.4

That’s what cutting squares feels like. It takes my brain from chaos to order.

From overstimulation to calm.

I see this as the main difference between self regulating activities (sometimes called special interests or hyper focuses) versus regular hobbies. The activity is having a positive neurological effect and improving my ability to function.5

I’m acutely aware it looks like procrastination.

I wonder how many of us abandoned healthy coping strategies because we were shamed or criticized for them?

Part of unmasking for me is trying to be less concerned with “how it looks” and to (as puts it) assume my needs are reasonable.

My brain needs this reset time.

Running a crowdfunding campaign followed by my son’s fourth birthday was incredibly energetically depleting. I knew it was going to take time to recover.

Last week the productivity pressure started to crowd in and look over my shoulder.

It said insidious things that ignored the fact we don’t have childcare. That cutting fabric squares is quite different to writing a book.

It’s easy to forget that this is exactly why we structured this project with an expansive timeline.

This time for self regulation is an integral part of the process. And, of course, my brain is subconsciously puttering away on the book all along.

I might very well sit down and finish the second draft in one sitting.

Sometimes neurodivergent brains move fast – really fast – like lightning. But we can’t maintain that. So we often fall into periods of intense hyperfocus followed by a crushing burn out. I am doing my best to disrupt those patterns.

Just because I can move at a breakneck pace sometimes doesn’t mean I can maintain that.

I am trying to release shame and guilt for utilizing self regulating tools and strategies. And for taking the time I need.

I invite you to do the same.

So, it will be a bit longer before postcards go out to our book hype team (we haven’t forgotten you!) or you get a proper book update.

Unless this a book update?

It may seem unrelated, but this regeneration cycle is definitely an essential part of my creative process.6

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Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

Books

Aside from sewing I have also been self regulating by reading for hours on end. (This is the first time I have managed to do this since Davy has been born – I am kind of amazed he is “letting” me.)

I managed to finish Rhythm of War (an epic fantasy novel over 1,000 pages) in a couple weeks. I originally started it in 2020, but put it down in because my brain fog wouldn’t let me read anything new. It’s the kind of book that reads much better in long stretches than short bursts and reminded me of how it felt to read as a kid.

Games

We’ve also been playing a LOT of the new Zelda game. It’s become a hyper focus for the whole family over the last month. I am essentially Davy’s squire now dressing him in his tunic and long green cap once or twice a day (the belts are tricky!)

I love the adventure of it!

Climbing mountains, exploring caves, foraging for mushrooms, cooking up campfire meals, and flying around in our paraglider. Not to mention the puzzles. I love the puzzles! Nathan and I have noticed we often solve the puzzles and play the game very differently and I love that there is scope for that!

Davy does Zelda too and his language is exploding. (We’ve been playing in tandem. He uses the left controller running Link’s feet while I use the right controller to direct the camera / direction and the action buttons.)

Would recommend 10/10 for Fantasy nerds (or for the Fantasy-curious.)

Companionship Spotlight

Last month in my creative membership program The Companionship we talked about Substack and some of the members are launching their own publications. I’m going to start featuring them here.

is on a quest to find “her thing” in creativity.

Side Quests In Creativity

Coming soon…

I have this problem. I thought I was alone in it, until I chatted with a fellow neurodivergent friend. I’m still stuck in teenage mode, where I feel like I can’t play until I’ve finished my chores. But I’m an adult, the chores are never done, so I’ve had a really hard time with reading just for fun, or painting because my soul craved it. Because I don’t…

Read more

2 years ago · 2 likes · Mandy Sue

The Companionship opens for members twice a year. The next chance to join will be in autumn. 🍂🍁🌾

Music

This Hamilton inspired version of Itsy Bitsy Spider is inspired. 🕷️

Baking

This is the first year Davy has chosen his own birthday cake. He asked for strawberry. I used this recipe which uses real strawberries and my mom’s cream cheese frosting (below).

This is also her carrot cake, which is one of my absolute favorites. It’s been my birthday cake for the last several years.

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I’ve invented this section as inspiration to browse and close the tabs I keep open on Safari. I am always dangerously close to the 500 tab limit. Hopefully these creative breadcrumbs offer some inspiration.

I’ve spent approximately 3 years trying to find a clip of this segment of Sesame Street. Turns out it was called Alphaquest. Does anyone else remember this?

The image of a hallways of doors opening up to new worlds really stuck with me. The quality isn’t great, but it does exist! I wish Sesame Street had a better archive. I can’t find anywhere that has full episodes from the 80s & 90s. (We did manage to find quite a few of the classic songs though and put them on this playlist for Davy.)

Also…

“Always lift medieval church seats to check out the misericords. I call this one I just found in Poitiers the Queen of Hearts. Off with their heads!” via Michael Livingstone

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A little something from the archives. Here’s what I was writing about this time last year.

One Year Ago

It’s my one year Substack birthday! 🎂 I’ll write more about that next week, but for now here are the first two posts I shared here.

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I’d love to hear from you in comments. What resonated?

Do you relate to feeling guilty doing the things that help you self regulate? Has it been so long since you’ve done something for the joy of it that you’ve forgotten what that might be?

Let’s Discuss!

What would you do if you had a day to yourself and couldn’t work at all?

How can you weave that into your life now?

Cheers,

1

I need to write a post introducing the concept of creative ecosystems. But the basic idea is that we all need different things to thrive as artists and as humans. I wrote a book about it.

2

The Mental Load is currently in the virtual exhibit Cut, Torn, Mended at Spilt Milk Gallery and in their printed zine of the same name.

3

I won a ticket to a Wheel of Time convention this summer and found myself diving head first into making a costume. I’m still not sure if it will be done in time.

4

This is my layperson’s understanding of it. My computer engineer husband may have a more accurate, but much lengthier explanation. Here is a rabbit hole should you require more information.

5

I do not distinguish between “high functioning” or “low functioning” labels for autism. But I am not sure how else to describe what I mean here. By function I mean my personal baseline for forming thoughts, communicating, and getting stuff done. When I am overextended or overstimulated my baseline for forming thoughts, communicating, and getting stuff done decreases. I have physical and mental fatigue. Engaging in self regulating tasks helps me to reset my brain and resume my normal life.

6

Note to self: write about, “The Neurodivergent Regeneration Cycle”.

June 23, 2023